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What makes differences

April 21, 2013

What makes a mind different from another? I have often wondered  this in my  times in solitude, and  it is a recurring  trend of unanswered thoughts that come to my mind in mediation .

   To know more about me, and what I mean in my opinions, you must understand  why I am the way I am, and  the the ordeals I have been through To reach where I am now, and although it can be easily explained with few words; the understanding of it is difficult . 

    This  first sentence referrs to my thinking process.  In that I have many quistions to ask.  I have heard that there are several learning processes , and that makes you who you are,, and in that way you are put into  your own group. Your group then tells you what you need to do to learn in better ways. I also know that   there is an instinctual Code of behavior and thought that is universal- human nature.

     But what if you can’t Seem to find that group of people who think like you? I truly wouldn’t Have thought of this a year ago. I used to think everybody thought just like me. I that I was an image of normalcy, and that I just lived a different forced lifestyle . Recently , I’ve discovered This isn’t The case And its got me thinking. 

    I found this out while watching Ted: mind games, on an episode  about how the autism  mind works. My parents have told people that I am autistic , and I had no mean to rebellion agents therre ideas . I didn’t even know what autism meant anyway, and  don’t believe in going agents something I don’t understand. But, after watching that episode, I became curious;  in a peculiar Way. How does somebody think like that ? I gained a new respect for them, but it also hit me that I might not be autistic , or at least not to a notible Degree. In quiet Times at school I often Sit and think about many things. One of them is how the mind works, and I admit to getting very good at knowing how my own mind works . It works in this way:    

I o not think in pictures. Only rarely , like when I’m in total deep thought do they appear to me, and that is rare. Instead, I think in full sentences and in feelings. Like , right now I am I hear in my mind myself reciting what I’m going to put down before it s typed. When I’m in a low mood, I can recite songs perfectly in my head like a radio, and it doesn’t,t even effect  my other actions besides the ability to  lighten up myself with songs once awhile. These songs can be brought by will, or in the spur of the moment, and they are not at all a nuisense. Its just like how you can tap your foot when you want to, or you can just let it stand still.

    I also have the tendancy  to know how people feel just by looking at them or studying their body language. I think that this is the result of seeking compassion  when I was young and unable to talk in school.  If I ever wanted to know something, I would have to listen to the room and let information come from conversations around me., and trust me, I was very interested. I can tell when something is bothering someone   or something is up.

   Also I am different in my emotion and knowledge., but I am sure I can explain that later. I just want to know why I’m so different. I actually enjoy socialising , and its been my goal for several years to talk freely in school again like I did when I was younger, and because I’m me, I know that I will happily do what is needed to do to achieve  that goal. 


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