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April 1, 2014

Confidence matters. A lot.

I can’t count the times I was put down or discouraged by over-hyped expectations, only to find the solution ten times easier then I predicted.

Which slightly troubles me, because after  you unwind something you think’s going to be difficult, then its ‘just there’ and it makes me want to do more with the concept.

Like school: For years I thought school was the most difficult thing ever, merely because in my Tennessee school, the teachers thought for you, and everything was easier, which means it was harder for me because I had to figure out what my teacher wanted.

However, when I moved to New Jersey I got excited because the teachers didn’t think for you at all, and I had to fend for myself. At first it was extremely difficult and I was having so much fun with it, but then I figured out the system and a few new learning styles of my own, and frankly, now it’s really strait forward and simple once you figure out the tactics.

I guess that’s why I’ve been lazy lately. I sleep a lot because I think a lot, but I should probably stop.  I should get myself out in my community more or something but my confidence is prone to bust like a balloon.

Or I should brave up and completely overachieve just to prove myself to myself for no reason like I always have. Blind passion, or loyalty in my case, is strong!



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